Poor Man's Sean Avery

Sean Avery. He's got it all. Big time hockey career that has taken him from Hollywood to the Big Apple. Talent and grit that allows him to score or fight, whatever suits his mood. A hot girlfriend, Elisha Cuthbert, that sweet piece from 24 and a host of slasher films where you see her running in the wood, boobies bouncing in the breeze.

For Doug Wilson, Sean Avery was not availabe as a restricted FA for the Rangers. Wilson obviously covets the trio of skills listed above and instead signed the next best thing. Sharks fans meet....Brad Norton. Let's examine.

BIG TIME CAREER - Um...not really. He did play four games for the Red Wings last year getting into four fights. The ones I saw on You Tube show him getting his ass kicked pretty regularly by mid level tough guys. Result - negative.

TALENT - Not really from the research I gathered. There's a reason why he's played for five NHL teams and bounced around the IHL and AHL. Does he like to fight, apparently. 124 career NHL games and 287 PIM. Cheaper than Scott Parker I suppose, but Parker actually seemed to win his fights.

HOT WIFE - Check! Bingo - thank you Doug Wilson. Brad Norton's wife is Tiffany Granath, model and host of Playboy's afternoon radio show on Sirius. Heard her on Howard Stern and she is HOT! I hope she gets seats in my section! MAHALO!

http://www.tiffanygranath.com/

Sad when this is the big news of the week, but alas, it is. We look forward to watching you fight, oh brave Brad Norton. Whether you win, place or show - you will always have a hot piece of ass wife for us to stare at. Amen Sharks fans. Amen.